"Fifteen Lessons" by Pook Master Don Juan
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=59150&highlight=fifteen+lessons
Lesson Ten
Why did some guys succeed with women without even trying while other guys fail with women no matter how hard they try? Why did these guys, seemingly arrogant, get women? Why did these jerks succeed where he, the nice young guy, failed?
“Because you’re a wimp!” answered the jerks. But the Nice Guy responded in a bashful tone, “But I am myself. I will never change for anybody.”
But this Nice Guy wasn’t receiving any dates, either.
“Haha, you are such a wimp!” said the jerks. The hot girls would laugh behind his back, “What a desperate chump!”
Desperate! Why was he acting as if the women were better then he? Why should he win her, let her win him! Why buy her gifts? Let her buy him gifts! This new attitude got him all the dates he needed. But why did he not adopt that mindset before?
He remembered the past voices in his head. What did they say? Let us hear them:
“You do not have muscles. What makes you think you can get hot women?”
“You are not that smart. Why do you think you can get the pick of the group?”
“You do not have a high paying job! Why do you think you deserve a hottie?”
And the loudest most annoying voice: “You are not as cute or handsome as the other guys. Therefore, you do not deserve a hot chick.”
Alas! He knew he was not Prince Charming so he did not act like one. But now he realized that Prince Charming is not the producer of the confidant thought; to the contrary, the confident thought is the producer of the Prince Charming. In order to be successful in the world, you must be successful in your mind.
“That is the secret,” he said during his revelation. For…
“As you think, you shall become.”
“And so long as you think, so long you remain free.”
“But Pook! What are you, a self-improvement seminar? Where is the woman in this?”
“Women come and go, but YOU are forever. The focus must be on you. What do YOU want in a girl? What do YOU want to do for a date? What type of relationship are YOU looking for? It is a machine to the ONE. You push the button and out she comes.”
“But Pook! What if she does not like your date ideas? What if she is different from what you are looking for?”
“Then she is not for you! The thing girls hate is when you cannot have a date idea (which happens to guys because they want to please her without thinking of themselves). You have a series of hobbies and tastes. If she likes your date ideas, then that is good. If she doesn’t, then go get another girl. There are billions out there.”
“But… that is… rejection!”
Pook slapped the young man. “Only if you place the focus on the woman. If you do that, then you actually believe it is women who are making the choice, not you. There is no rejection; you are merely finding out if she has good taste. After all, she is looking for a guy that fits her interests and tastes. If she doesn’t like you for whatever reason, let her! And thank her for doing so!”
“Thank her?”
“Which would you prefer, a woman who collapses her own interests for the sakes of yours merely to have a boyfriend or a woman who likes you because of you!?”
“Because of our tastes, our compatibility, runs parallel!”
“Indeed! Now think back to your Nice Guy days, those suffering days of endless agreement and non-confrontation. What service did you do to help find compatibility?”
“Alas, no!” The young man’s face turned white as he realized the utter disgust he was in his old ways. “I am so ashamed!”
“You’re not the only one,” said the Pook. “Look into the valley! Look at how Man has fallen!”
And the young man looked into the valley. There he saw hordes of Nice Guys throwing themselves toward an idol, the golden woman statue. Flowers, chocolate, bad poetry, and declarations of love were all tossed at the statue. Thunder then exploded.
Then, out of nowhere in graceful light and melodies of enchanted harps, appeared the Don Juan.
“What is he doing here?” muttered Pook. “This was not scheduled in the post.” [Sosuave Note: Indeed! The Don Juan spirit can appear in any post whenever he wishes!]
The young man called out, “Speak spirit!”
“I will call out to it.” Pook cupped his mouth. “Where from did you come!?”
The spirit stood there, silent, with a confident air of invulnerability.
Then Pook yelled, “Oh speak perturbed spirit! Speak thy truth!”
And the spirit, in great anger of how Men have turned into beastly chumps, threw the tablets he held at the fleeing Nice Guys. He spoke these words then vanished in a fountain of light:
You cannot be yourself without truthfully seeing yourself.
You cannot sacrifice character for joyfulness without ultimately destroying happiness.
You cannot control the situation, but you can control yourself, your emotions, and your life.
You cannot have women love you until you love yourself.
You cannot grasp the female nature until you grasp your male nature.
You cannot win her until you focus on her winning you.
You cannot fully know the principles of this website until you leave it.
You cannot obtain love by giving yours away for free.
You cannot fulfill your desire by letting it trump your integrity.
You cannot be yourself by denying your dreams and what it takes to achieve them.
Lesson Eleven
Comfortable with himself and his successful habits, he relaxed and reacquainted himself with his friends. He noticed they had lady-problems.
“Why are women female?” one opined. “Everything would be much simpler if they weren’t female and would logically make sense!”
“Indeed! They are not just female but so annoyingly female.”
And on and on they complained.
Years later, the young man found his old friends married or in serious relationships. In every single one, the girl chose him. Each and every one of them was chronically unhappy.
However, they wouldn’t admit it to themselves. They said, “What! You are still single? Oh, poor guy! You will one day progress and get a chick like us.”
“Indeed,” said another. “I just got a new girlfriend and you are still single! Hah!”
And a third said, “We all are married or have girlfriends but you, poor chap, are still single. You need to start listening to our advice…”
And together they said, “Give the woman flowers, chocolate, poetry, declarations of love, your full attention, your promises, your exclusiveness, your time, your dreams, your LIFE and adopt her desires, her plans, her manipulations, and her designs on your future.”
The young man laughed. “Shrug off my Manhood for a girl? No thanks. For…”
“Getting a girl is not the success.”
“Pook! Whatever do you mean by this?”
“Most guys still think like women. They think that by sleeping with lots of women, by having a girlfriend, or by having a wife means they are successful with women.”
“You mean that ‘beggars can’t be choosers.’ You mean for guys to PICK the girl rather than the other way around.”
“You’re closer and that is true. But women date for all sorts of reasons. They marry for all sorts of reasons. They sleep with you for all sorts of reasons. To the addition of the above, you want to find a woman that is interested in YOU.”
“I don’t understand.”
So Pook summoned forth a guy and his girlfriend. The guy, smug, says, “I got a girlfriend now! Dobedobedo!” Pook summoned a single guy into the room. The coupled guy smugly said, “Oh, poor thing! You will get a girl like me one day!”
The single guy bowed his head and looked sad. Alas. He had no chick. Boo hoo.
“Now,” said the Pook, “let us fast forward several years.”
Years later, the guy and his girlfriend got married. Why did they marry? “It seemed like the next thing to do!” Alas, the divorce swiftly came in a few years.
“The error is guys defining their success on having a woman or women. They should rather be concerned with having a woman that DOES actually like them.”
“Why do you say this, Pook? It sounds like a bit more work.”
“Yes, but if you do this then you won’t be like the following:”
“She said she loved me and we got married! Why does she want a divorce now?”
“All my friends thought ‘she was a keeper’. So why is she cheating on me with her ex?”
“She won’t return my repeated calls? What is going on?”
“I do her date ideas and she thought I was ‘boring’. What does that mean?”
Pook shook his head. “When you aim at something long term, you need to make sure the woman like you. Just because she dates you, sleeps with you, and yes, even MARRIES you does not mean she likes you.”
“So what should I do?”
“You define what the dates are at first. She will work with you if she likes you. You can ‘soften’ up later like in a couple of months. If she starts breaking dates, giving you the run around, or seems INFLEXIBLE then that should be warning signs that she doesn’t like you.”
“I see… But what if you’re so awful at DJing that NO woman likes you?”
“Then you’ll have more free time with your buddies. Success cannot be getting a girl because that means failure is being alone. No. Failure is being in an unhappy marriage or a relationship where she has no true interest in you.”
“So the focus must be on you, including her interest?”
“Right. Drop the ‘getting a girl is success’ mantra and you will never be DUMPED.”
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