Voice and Rapport

Voice and Rapport - Trying, Neutral and Breaking

I assume you guys are all clear about the three common types of rapport. At RSD, we break this into

1) Trying for Rapport - Where you are seeking rapport with the other person. This would be a standard interview style pick up for example, 'what is your name', 'where are you from', 'what are you doing here', 'who are you with', 'what do you do for a living'. The standard thing 90% of guys are doing. Most peoples autopilot response to trying for rapport is to blow the other person off (very generic statement, I'm sure you all have countless examples of the opposite).

2) Neutral Rapport - Where you are asking a question maybe, but you don't particularly care about who your asking 'what is the time?'. Often just making statements is a good way of speaking in neutral rapport with someone. 'I like salad', 'my friend has a pink motorcycle' etc etc

3) Breaking Rapport - This is where you break rapport, much like the cool kid in high school does, and people will often seek rapport with you as they perceive you as high value.


So how does your voice come into it?

When you are speaking to someone and want to seek rapport with them, generally there is an 'upspeak' tone at the end of the sentence. For example, 'what do you do for a living?'. Most people would end asking that question with an uppish tone. You can also break rapport with your voice in the same way too. For example, you can say 'huh, thats interesting', and actually break rapport with someone with the tone of your voice. In the same way you can speak on a perfectly normal level, and not seek rapport or break rapport. Generally this is the equivilant of neutral rapport with your voice.

Imagine your boss at work, or a strict teacher, or a drill seargent in the army. What tone of voice are they using? Generally they are speaking in neutral rapport or breaking rapport, and less frequently in seeking rapport (though when they do this often you will actually feel good about yourself). What is their relative value to yours in this situation?

How does this translate to being successful with women? Or more specifically, what can I take form this to improve my game?

Women are attracted to value. Value is construed in many ways. For example, a guy who is high value is less likely to seek rapport with women, he doesn't need to after all because he has an abundance of choice. Much of what we do is adopt the mannerisms of high status/value people, often faking it till we make it. If high value people are more likely to speak in a neutral rapport/breaking rapport tonality, then adopting this actually increases your perceived value in a womens eyes (it doesn't sound like you are giving your power away, which is essentially what you are doing when you seek rapport with someone). How do you think this would affect sparking sexual attraction in women?

When I started learning the 'game', this was organised into content based themes. I could use cocky funny lines, qualifier lines, tell stories etc etc. When I started approaching girls and using crazy openers to get my tonality and mannerisms down, I realised I could actually walk up to a girl and introduce myself, and if I had the fundamentals down I would get as much attraction as using an opinion opener and a canned game plan (often more actually, and more sexual attraction). I could use my non-verbal commuication and actually work towards improving this, so I literally became someone who is 'naturally attractive' to women, as opposed to someone who had a stack of gambits that would make (or trick depending on your perspective) a girl into liking me. Obviously this caused a huge shift in my inner game too.

So, you can literally use your tonality as a way of breaking rapport or seeking rapport with a women. If you can do this with the right energy the content literally becomes secondary, as people are drawn to you because of your presence. I would suggest to anyone who hasn't done this to field test consciously using your voice to break rapport, seek rapport and neutral rapport with girls, or people in general to see what you can learn.

I was even bored enough to upload a 'rapport chart' for you guys to print off, scrunch up and keep in your pockets as a 'cheatsheet' next time you are in the field. How nice I am LOL...